communicating

it isn't what it was meant. why does everything come out the wrong way? why are there forever gaps between people, between friends? You are the only one who knows it like it is.

if human beings are social creatures, why is it so hard to communicate with one another? no, you say, it's not hard -- we can just open our mouths to communicate. but from personal experience i know, as you probably do, that it is extremely difficult to communicate if you don't speak the same language. sure, you can get basic points across, like "i'm hungry" or "where's the restroom?" but what about more complicated ideas, such as feelings, dreams, things higher up on Maslow's Hierarchy? or concepts, plans, and philosophies? even if you speak the same language, simple sentences or gestures can be grossly misinterpreted and lead to gaping chasms between the closest of friends.

i think one of the reasons why it is so hard to communicate is because we are selfish in our natures. it's hard to put ourselves into other people's shoes because maybe you wouldn't think that way in their situation, but too bad, they do. it's extremely hard to be bigger than yourself, to emphathize. even if you do something nice for someone else, you can't take away the root of their pain. you can't heal others, though you can help the process along.

to more fully understand someone, you have to spend time with them or speak with them a lot. and people just don't have that kind of time to spend, not unless they really care about someone. and even then, there is always room for miscommunication because of our physical separation from others. you can't know everything about someone else's history, all their memories, their emotions and motivations. and so we have these barriers between us.

but then again, are these barriers really that much of a bad thing, as i seem to be hinting at? would life be as fulfilling if we could just meet people and 'know' them? and here, i'm not just talking about stereotyping, certainly a shortsighted though perhaps inescapable habit. i think the fact that you can't really know someone else completely, the fact that there will always be an element of the mysterious in everyone (assuming that people are not simple beings), no matter how well you know them, makes social interaction worthwhile and rewarding. so i've come full circle. we miscommunicate, but in the process of fixing the conflict, relationships are built up.