Neglect

It's too easy a thing to do, and has touched all these areas of my life. But for now, I choose not to neglect this blog. So, let's share.

I certainly am neglecting my schoolwork, have been doing so for a long while now, and with this comes the inferred neglect of future. Looking back on this period, I bet history will make mention of a disquiet amongst the young folks regarding their futures, a gypsy restlessness from uncertainty and letdown. I won't say I can't identify with this characterization, but I have moved on. Now, it's a movement toward peace. I know there is a slice for me in that giant cake named Future, and yes it is delicious. Because God provides, so why worry? Anyway, graduation for me is an incoming ship just crowning the horizon.

I see abundance, I can reach out and stroke it. Not just in the Future, but in the Now. There's always things to do, people to see, overwhelming, environment teeming with vitality. But as they say, "it's not you, it's me." And it's been me since middle school. I think what I seek is a Walden of sorts; I haven't been alone in forever. It would be awful nice to just sit down with a book and actually get past the first 3 chapters. It would be awful nice to finally work on myself, make myself a teensy bit likable. This is a difficult task, let me tell you, as people are not likable in general. Lovable, well that's a whole other ballgame.

Future

I thought you’d like to know the scoop
I’m taking babies back with me, yeah
I’m taking them back home,
so they can see there’s a much better place
I’ve got a sister with an open mind
and my friends are all junkies
But they’re still my friends

..we won't build a time machine but we'll get by

Happy

There are many things to be happy about, such as my dad being alive, the new year, a possible snow day, President's Day shopping, but I am most happy currently because I just found out that Heinz redesigned their ketchup packets, to be rolled out in the fall. WOW, that was REALLY delayed, Heinz!

Another

Since I am on the topic of covers, thought I'd share one covering my all-time favorite U2 song. This doesn't begin to approach the original, but it's still awesome. :)

Message in a Bottle

Crazy cover! Randy does it all.

Missed work today.

theory

So here's a thought: When God saw in Genesis that it was not good for man to be alone, sin had not yet entered the world. Maybe now, with the presence of sin, it is better for the fleshly man to be alone.

True, I look around and see a lot of happy families, lots of love. I see people helping others, being nice to others, saying kind words. I do not dispute the genuineness of human love or happiness in the social context. But with the inherent sinfulness of man comes distrust, jealousy, anger, vengeance, bitterness, and the list goes on. Did God really intend for the fleshly man to partake in society? Such a man has a huge capacity to inflict pain and hurt on others. War aside, it is in the company of others that lustfulness and covetousness must occur. I wouldn't want a massive diamond rock on my finger if no one else had or wanted one, or if no one else saw it. I would have no one to compare myself to, no Joneses to keep up with (or beat). If we were lonely creatures, no one would be around to hear us slander others or be its target. With our tongues, we commit unmeasurable damage and evil. They are the original weapons of mass destruction capable of great deceit and hurt. And I don't want to skirt physical damage; again, aside from war, there are diseases that transmit from person to person, accidents caused by other people, and crimes that assume the presence of other people such as burglary, murder, kidnapping, adultery, heists, and -gasp-terrorism. And let's also mention suicide--I don't know what the leading causes are, but I'm sure a handful or more had something to do with the pressures of society, feelings of not measuring up, guilt, and the like.

I take an earnest look at myself and my relationships with others, and I readily confess that they are all imperfect. But in my defense, I am only human. This is my point, that humans are incapable of having perfect relationships. This must be in the definition of "human" somewhere, that we are fallible. We are not fit for company. Not the way we are now, at least, with our selfishness. We can certainly strive to be the way we will be, though. Nevertheless, this striving is not the way it was intended at all; we were intended to already be. Humans are not inherently faithful, generous, kind. Our Good Samaritan moments are just shadows of how it will be in Heaven after the Second Coming.

something to read

for later

EDIT:

"I hate that God lets you suffer like this," I said.

"Oh," he said, taken aback, "God suffers more."

-2009